Equality In A Relationship
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I get angry, baby, believe me. I could love you just like that. And I could leave you just this fast. As catchy and popular as this song became, the type of relationship it describes is one based on power and control instead of equality and respect. But, what does it mean to have an equal relationship? Inequality in a relationship refers to an imbalance of power between partners.


How to make things fair in your relationship (there are 6 areas that must be)

To put it simply both of you should feel that, overall, you have an equal say in the relationship. Neither of you should feel that your opinion is being sidelined, or that you never get to make any big or even small decisions. Very often people naturally find themselves playing to their strengths. One of you may be more sociable, and have more influence in terms of your social life.

The other might be a little calmer, and tend to be more relied on when it comes to emotional matters. Or maybe one of you is better with s, and so has a little more control over the finances.

Most of the time, this mixing and trading of responsibility is an entirely natural and healthy way of doing things. Choosing a partner who compensates for some of our weaknesses is one of the best and most nourishing things about finding a good relationship. However, it does mean that both partners need to be able to maintain a sense of fluidity and are able to negotiate around areas of responsibility.

Well, put simply, it means being willing and ready to occasionally check in with your partner about what you are expecting of each other. This might mean expressing what you find difficult. It can also mean asking questions — perhaps around the time that you recognise you are placing an expectation on your partner. But would you prefer if I took over sometimes?

Some of this might sound fairly obvious, but it can be easy to fall into the trap of assuming certain roles in your relationship and not checking whether these are continuing to work for both of you. While one person might broadly be satisfied being the person who books the holidays, or takes the kids to school, or chooses the new car, they may not be satisfied always doing this.

What is fairness and equality in a relationship?

They may want the flexibility to know that, if they ask, their partner will be willing to do this themselves once in a while. Likewise, roles in a relationship can change over time.

Sometimes, this can be through new experiences or changes in circumstances. Having kids, moving house, one of you getting a new job or suffering a bereavement — all of these things can destabilise what you thought were relatively fixed elements of your relationship.

What one of you might have had time or energy to do before, they may no longer have the time and energy to do now. Or it may be that the new experience has given them a different perspective on things — they may begin to see themselves differently, and so want to do different things.

They might no longer see themselves as less social, or less good with s, or more organised! An abusive relationship is one in which one partner is being controlled, either deliberately or unthinkingly.

This can include a range of behaviours, but it might mean constantly belittling someone so they feel small and intimidated, emotional blackmail deed to manipulate someone into behaving in certain ways, or even physical violence. Abusing power in this way in a relationship is never ok.

The National D omestic Violence helpline is a confidential, free, 24 hour service where you can talk to someone who can provide emotional support and help you decide what to do. You are here Home Relationship help Help with relationships Arguing and conflict Love and power: how to have an equal relationship.

Love and power: how to have an equal relationship. What does this mean on a practical level? Evolving roles Some of this might sound fairly obvious, but it can be easy to fall into the trap of assuming certain roles in your relationship and not checking whether these are continuing to work for both of you.

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You know, where each person does his or her fair share of housework and parenting duties and receives the same degree of consideration when it comes to making decisions and pursuing career goals.


Most people want a relationship where they and their partner treat each other as equals—and equality is especially important to be mindful of when there's a power differential in the relationship based on gender, race, or another aspect of your identities.


If you feel like things are feeling pretty one-sided one person is having all the fun, one person gets all the attention, one person gets their needs met , then this is plainly unfair and a form of inequality.