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There are many deeper unintended consequences to sleeping around, not just for women but also for men. Albeit less so for men due to their masculine biology, but more on that later. Yes, men can jeopardise their future potential to have a high value mate through perpetual promiscuity.
See the book Social Psychology and Human Sexuality, All they are looking for is novelty in experience anyway. Almost any willing woman will do. In terms of a relationship, and in terms of a reputation for the purposes of having a relationship with a high value woman. But quality is still the sacrifice for a promiscuous man. Women might be attracted to promiscuous men and have sex with them. But the kind of man who is being promiscuous is not generally having sex with 10 women who are rated 10s every week.
The more a man is eagerly looking to sleep around, the lower quality women low mate value he has to settle for in that act.
As an adult, as a woman, you need to realise that there are real consequences to your actions. Sometimes these consequences are not immediate, and completely unintended. Remember a wise woman is not one full of rules, but rather one who understands the consequences of her actions. What do WOMEN potentially sacrifice, if we sleep with a man quickly as in, before enough attraction has been built up?
However, three risk factors of sleeping around, or unattached sex still remains, for most women…. If we mainly practice unattached sex, then as women, our body and our mind pay the price. This is because we become numbed to our emotions surrounding wanting a deeper investment from the man.
High value men looking to devote themselves will be able to read what a woman is all about through our body faster than we even get the opportunity to verbally tell them anything about ourselves. I have a theory about this.
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Regardless, I theorise that men do this gossiping about easy sex to warn each other their own sex. This is possibly because on a primal level, in our tribal days — this information was crucial to the future reproductive safety of all men. But why? Because it warns other men not to invest their resources in the women they have gossiped about, since paternity cannot be determined. Paternity — meaning no one really knows who the father of the child is.
Reminder successfully set!
Although, male chimps have measly fathering skills compared to human males. So, just as women in a certain context, protect each other from low value mates of the opposite sex, men do the same in their own way. Paternity is serious business. Men tend to get more insensitive to the women they get easy sex from.
Perhaps also the women who think giving a man sex is the most important thing to give. In other words, some men become more disrespectful and insensitive towards the women that they get easy sex from. This can be in the same ballpark as making sex easily accessible. As a reminder to us all of the potential consequences of having casual sex without trust and commitment in the relationship, remember that men may spread lies about women whom they have easy sex with. One day, she overheard him telling his flat mate that he had had anal sex with her, which was totally untrue. That was when she decided to never do it again.
To quote Michaela Boehm from this article. If women are having easy casual sex with men that they are highly attracted to, ie: a man who does show up as capable and trustworthythen the danger might be that she really DOES love him and want a commitment. Remember, men can keep you around for years without wanting anything serious with you, and then suddenly disappear when they fall in love with their one and only.
Sometimes, we really have to WAIT to have sex with a man. Is your man serious about committing to you? Yeah, there are total losers out there who manipulate, abuse and try to take advantage of women.
And we have all heard stories about them, or even experienced crap with them. As such, how you feel surrounding no strings attached sex is different to how he may feel! Women simply risk paying a price for having sex before enough attraction and commitment has been established! When you do that, you inadvertently test a man for whether he will stick around or not. If everything is rushed, and the process of building a real connection is short-cut, then you risk being ghosted and abandoned by him.
If instead, you focus on connection and attraction, you are doing great things for yourself. We teach you some real tests for commitment inside our flagship Commitment Control 2 course. We have to realize the possible outcomes of casual sex as women. Remember, you have the womb. You take more risk than men.
What matters is why we do what we do. Or if it repeatedly takes value from ourselves and from others?
Is casual sex harmless? consequences of casual sex on women
As a woman, like me, you might have felt that men tend to push for sexsometimes, even the good ones can do that. The real question is this. If you say yes, then I commend you for your courage. Which is one reason why women tolerate casual sex or emotionally unavailable men in their lives. Men can lose trust in women when we have sex before there is mutually felt emotional attraction. In that article, I mentioned that genuine emotional attraction must be felt by both the man and the woman. And it must be obvious — before we should be willing to sleep with a man.
Inspiring women to own their age & style
I very much respect that not everyone wants to make this choice. And I also respect that some women need to have certain experiences at certain times in their life in order to make adjustment. And that is just a part of their own evolution. When high value men look to enter in to a committed relationship — KEY — committed relationship — he has a whole host of factors to test a woman for. For reference on this, again, see the book: Social Psychology and Human Sexuality So, one easy test for men to us, is how easily a woman lets herself be accessible sexually to HIM personally. Her reputation and body language as well as how she HOLDS herself a by product of her self esteem and intrinsic confidencewill also give a man cues as to how faithful and loyal she will be to him in a relationship.
If, to him, it seems as though sex happened prematurely, men know. Some men even feel guilt over having sex with women super quickly. This is often why you may see a man buying a woman breakfast after a one night stand. And because of that — he will have far more commitment resistance.
He may fear putting his valuable time, emotional energy, as well as hard earned status and resources in to her. A man will only reserve those things for his one and only. Learn more about what it means to show up as the one and only woman here. Unless of course, he presented with a lot of high mate value and I trusted him.
That seemed so rare though. In reality — men pay a price for promiscuity and so do women. Roughly 1, sperm are produced by a fertile man every second.
Just like a breastfeeding mother whose breasts become painfully engorged with milk for her. She has to get rid of it by feeding her baby to relieve the pressure of the milk. Sperm is the same. It kinda just keeps getting produced, whether a man likes it or not.
Women can eventually stop breastfeeding. But men, well…their sperm just keeps on coming, and the pressure needs to be relieved. The pressure men feel to expel the excess sperm is almost daily — maybe several times a day for a young lad, is huge.
Yet for women, her need to have sex depends on many things; not just the daily routine production of sperm. Well, if conception occurs and a baby is on the way; a woman is left totally vulnerable for the next 9 months at LEAST. Add on breastfeeding and the physical exhaustion for years afterwards when chasing a toddler. After that; whether he invests his resources depends on how much attraction there was, and it depends on how much he loves the woman and how invested he was before they conceived. Some men are nice and stay with women simply because they feel that they have to — not because they are madly in love.
For information on the 2 traits of women that men routinely fall in love with. A reader of TheFeminineWoman once ed us saying that she met a man online, and built up an emotional connection with him through online contact — even though they had not been on many dates before. She fell VERY hard for this nerdy, nervous man.
We need to feel him; and his level of emotional commitment. Not his level of lust. Sure, ideally, men would most definitely be man enough, self confident enough and attuned enough to overcome this fear — or perhaps not even fear; but the aversion to — committing to women who sleep with them quickly. IDEALLY — even if we were ultimately promiscuous, a man would be man enough, alpha enough — to OWN our soul so much, that we would have no choice but to remain faithful to him, because he adds so much value to our life. If we are looking for a committed relationship, what ultimately matters is our mate value to men.
We have to be real. Their forefathers conditioned their own DNA to look and seek out high mate value women for long term investment and commitment.